Tag: grieving

how?

how?

by Kathleen Moulton ♥ 1 Comment

With all our technological, medical, and scientific advancements, the common and routine can frustrate us.

That’s because we are limited. And the first step of grieving is acknowledging and admitting death is inevitable. The truth sets us free. That means the part of us which is weighed down with confusion, discouragement, frustration and disappointment breaks free with acceptance.

We are made of the same stuff as our predecessors who lost loved ones to disease, accidents, and war.

We cannot stop it.

Generations before us lived with death. Does this make our personal grieving easier? No. But it helps us to know we are made of the same stuff as our ancestors. We’re human.

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We cannot control everything that happens to us the way we choose our ring tones or favorite search engine.

To grieve is to accept.

But to accept is to trust.

Trust in what? Or whom?

There is always someone who writes the book.

In the Beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth.

Genesis 1:1

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Photo Credit: Etolane / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND,

coming to terms with grief.

coming to terms with grief.

by Kathleen Moulton ♥ 1 Comment

The Key to Resolving Grief

by Dr. Lani Leary

The key to resolving grief is the feeling of acceptance that comes through validation. To resolve means to settle, to work out, or to find meaning. It does not mean to erase, or to end. Grief does not end, but grief is transformed. Grief can soften. It can be accepted. It can take on another shape, rather than taking over a person’s life. One can carry grief differently after working through grief and finding resolution. But grief does not end.

The great healer of our grief is validation, not time. All grief needs to be blessed. In order to be blessed, it must be heard. Someone must be present, someone who is willing to “hold” it by listening without judgment or comparison.

Those who grieve need both verbal and non-verbal permission to feel whatever feelings arise during grief. Their personal way of experiencing their loss should be given consent and validation. The ways they “know” their grief should be honored. Mourners need to be encouraged to express their grief in ways that are most comfortable for them, through words, tears, song, art, movement, or activity.

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While grieving, those in pain need a sense of a compassionate presence. That is a person who provides a healthy relationship and companions them. It is the person who can “just be” with them in whatever way is helpful throughout the journey. There may be several people who support with their ability to be present, and each may offer different aspects that are needed. The bereaved need:

  1. To be cared for with your presence, permission, patience, predictability, and perseverance.
  2. To have their feelings acknowledged and their loved one remembered.
  3. To have their feelings and needs normalized.
  4. To be heard.
  5. To be seen and acknowledged.

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Photo courtesy: Jeff Kubina / Foter / CC BY-SA