You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
A four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry , the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard , climbed onto his lap , and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor , the little boy said ,
‘Nothing , I just helped him cry’
Rest in Peace, Robin Williams
Yesterday, some triggers made my eyes fill with tears – remembering and reliving the pain of my son’s death. It will be 7 years this September.
Is this you? A song, a smell, a taste, a feeling, or a sight, brings it all back? That’s what a trigger is.
For me, it comes like a wave washing upon the shore. Not a crashing wave since I’m numb and cannot feel it. And not a wave that knocks me off my feet because nothing surprises me anymore. It just advances and retreats back where it came from. But it leaves something, as waves often do. It leaves memories. And then I wonder. And then I miss him. And then I want to remove myself from the source of those triggers.
It’s amazing how God has made us to endure pain. The best way to describe it is we are hard wired that way. It’s just that it can be a lonely place sometimes. We live smile, we laugh, we work, we play, and always beneath the surface of our smile is sorrow. No one else is aware of it but us. We want others to be okay so we take even more upon ourselves to make that happen.
People who live this way are okay. Really. Something or someone is missing in our lives and we walk with a limp. We’ve come to accept it. Will you?
Death is like a storm. The winds howl, the rain plummets, the sky is dark.
Beyond the threatening sky, there is blue sky and sunshine. You just can’t see it.
But it is there.
Death is not the end. But for now, it feels like it.
This Bible verse gives us hope:
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away. Revelation 21:4
Sometimes we think the pain is our fault.
Sometimes people tell us it’s our fault.
Then we have more pain.
Let me tell you what God says.
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8
God calls Himself the Heavenly Father.
That may bring more pain if you didn’t have a father, your father was cruel, or your father was absent. Nevertheless, God is a good father.
There is pain in life. It’s just the way it is. God never promised there wouldn’t be pain. He promised that He would be with us in the pain.
God knows every awkward moment, embarrassment, and frustration.
When you were abandoned, rejected, mocked, and hated.
And when you were afraid, sick, neglected, and abused.
Each time your heart was broken … he counted your tears.
That, is a good Father.