Tag Archive | bitterness

anticipation.

I leaned back in the wicker rocking chair – a favorite – the one with the brown and aqua quilt.

Linger. I want to linger here for as long as possible. The warm, scattered sunshine is soothing. Can I stay?

My eyes teared slightly at the leafless branches contrasting against royal blue  – recalling a childhood memory of loving the sky.

The smells of autumn were unmistakable. The clean smell of Macintosh apples in a nearby bushel, the carpet of golden maple leaves soaking in the warm sun, and the damp earth preparing a resting place for frost-bitten hostas, salvia, and phlox.

And then one leaf…and another…gracefully floated to the ground to take its place among the others.

Seasons end, but another is waiting. Do we hang on to the old? Or do we anticipate the new?

Even in the midst of the cold and bitter winter, there is life. The wind plays with the snow, creating ripples of purple shadowed dunes while grand, lacy snowflakes rock gently to the earth – breathing life into our weariness.

The pain will end. But in its cold and bitterness, there is still life. Can you find it?

reposted from Oct. 2014

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bitterness.


When I began this blog, I was purposeful to make sure I did not throw out the Christian catch phrases or stamp a scripture on someone’s pain without heartfelt explanations.

In church circles, we are told not to be bitter – what a horrible thing it is, how it is destructive, and then of course, the scriptures pertaining to such.

But when you are hurting really, really bad…like with  my-child-died kind of hurt…you need more reasons to not be bitter.

Oh, yes. I value the scriptures. They are foundational truths to build our lives upon. And if God had to prove himself to me, he sure has over and over again.

Yet, sometimes, unknowingly, Christians can almost be flippant with their application in terms of quoting them and moving on.

Moving on.

You mean like the Priest and the Levite who walked by the wounded man on the side of the road? Heck, they didn’t even look. At least giving someone a scripture is better than nothing.

Well, do we want to do the bare minimum? Or do we want to do (and be) the most we can be?

The Good Samaritan did look. He stopped. He did not move on. He did more to help the wounded man. Not just at that moment, but thought about the days ahead.

I also wanted to keep my blog posts short since I don’t have the time to read long posts, either. I like tidbits of solid information. So, I apologize for so much background today.

Back to bitterness.

When I lost my son, there were “other” situations that came about, exasperating my already weak, emotional state. It is called secondary grief. But that’s for another day.

When we’re hurting, we think with our hearts and our heads and it goes back and forth during those tumultuous days.

Somewhere in the emotional chaos, I knew because I knew, I could not get bitter.

It’s like that splinter in your finger. Ever have one that is long and deep? Your first reaction is to protect. But then you know you have to have it dug out and it is going to hurt. If you don’t, it will get infected.

That is a small example. Any wound not taken care of can cause serious problems. Even amputation.

Bitterness is like that.

It begins to fester when the pain you feel turns to resentment, anger, revenge, and any other number of things.

When I first realized I could get bitter over the circumstances I felt (and they were numerous), I wouldn’t allow it. And the only way to combat it is to trust God no matter how bad it hurts.

Here is where building your life on the foundational truths of scripture is important. I had believed already and had spent my life building. Like building your house on the rock – the wind and rain came in great strength – and the house did not fall.

But then the emotions come flooding in and things can look quite different. That’s when we have to reach out for what is true no matter how we feel.

I have seen bitterness on people. They are miserable. And if God says he is with us when we are hurting, supplying all we need to get through it, well, we have to take it or leave it.

Bitterness takes root if you let it and it will grow. It is destructive, clouding good, healthy thinking (despite circumstances), unable to filter out the lies, pulling you down with the weight of its growth.

Bitterness takes away a soft heart and hardens it.

I have scars. Some things will not be corrected or resolved on this side of eternity. I have changed and I know it. But I continue to face each day as it comes, knowing God is with me, and it’s not the end of the story. Because God has more to come.

I hope you will know it, too.

bitter

****

Photo credit: August Brill via Decorators Guru / CC BY

 

bitterness.

Sometimes our pain can make us bitter.

Our hearts become infected because of wounds inflicted (or perceived to be inflicted) by others.

While it is understandable, it must be prevented because it’s only going to hurt you. It is a strong, negative emotion.

How do you know you’re bitter?

  • Seeing or even just hearing the person’s name who has offended you makes you seethe inside. Ever feel it? I have.
  • You replay the tape. Over and over and over.
  • If you find out something good has happened to that person, it aggravates you.

Bitterness eats away at you.

Next time, “how to stop being bitter”.

bitter

 

Photo credit: geezaweezer / Foter / CC BY

worry.

When something bad has happened to you, or someone you know, there is a tendency to begin thinking more about each step you take.

Could it happen to me? Could it happen to me again?

Well, yes. It could.

For years, (30 to be exact), this dependable, responsible, efficient writer thought, “But there is so much to take care of. How do I not think about it and…worry?”

It took the deepest pain of life – the loss of a child – to show me I didn’t have to worry.  That’s because the only one who can sufficiently lead you through the valley of the shadow of death, is God.

worried-_by_joodi-2_l

 

Because I made it through, knowing how I made it through, I realized just how little control we have.

My options were:

a) mistrust (leading to unrest, discontent, and bitterness)

b) trust (leading to peace, contentment, and joy)

You can’t have the latter unless you trust that someone is looking over things.

So now, I get it:

Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?

~~~

Photo credit: Abdulmajeed Al.mutawee || twitter.com/almutawee / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

Matthew 6

 

anticipation.

I leaned back in the wicker rocking chair – a favorite – the one with the brown and aqua quilt.

Linger. I want to linger here for as long as possible. The warm, scattered sunshine is soothing. Can I stay?

My eyes teared slightly at the leafless branches contrasting against royal blue  – recalling a childhood memory of loving the sky.

The smells of autumn were unmistakable. The clean smell of Macintosh apples in a nearby bushel, the carpet of golden maple leaves soaking in the warm sun, and the damp earth preparing a resting place for frost-bitten hostas, salvia, and phlox.

And then one leaf…and another…gracefully floated to the ground to take its place among the others.

Seasons end, but another is waiting. Do we hang on to the old? Or do we anticipate the new?

Even in the midst of the cold and bitter winter, there is life. The wind plays with the snow, creating ripples of purple shadowed dunes while grand, lacy snowflakes rock gently to the earth – breathing life into our weariness.

The pain will end. But in its cold and bitterness, there is still life. Can you find it?

bitterness.

Bitterness is anger that has lodged somewhere inside and eats away at your joy of living.

If you are not careful, pain can make you bitter.

See, when you are hurting, you want someone to take the pain away. There’s only one who can take it away: God. But you have to trust Him even when it hurts. The way you do that is you recognize that He made the world and He made you.

There are many things we don’t understand and we often ask – why? You may not get an answer and so you have to do something with the “why”. If you’re intent on pursuing your question, it can be never ending; even tormenting, and leading to anger. But if you settle it in your heart that not all “whys” can be answered, and trust God knows, you won’t get bitter.

Bitterness eats away at you and can affect your health. When we let go of bitterness, Mayo Clinic reports the benefits:

  • Healthier relationships
  • Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
  • Less anxiety, stress and hostility
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Fewer symptoms of depression
  • Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse

Whatever it is, let it go so you can be free.