what if?

what if?

What if around the corner, everything will change?’

WanderingtheWorld (www.LostManProject.com) / Foter.com / CC BY-NC

What if you could step into another dimension and see life very differently than you do right now?

Life is more than what you see.

Today may be grim with heartache and discouragement. You may be lonely and really believe no one cares.

Things are not always as they appear.

God has figured our sadness into the equation and knows you will smile again.

What if God has your concerns taken care of? And you just are not aware of it?




Victory doesn’t always come without pain.

There may be casualties.

There may be scars.

There may be loss.

Life will go on and how you look at things makes the difference.

There are moments when I feel defeated. Out of nowhere, there are feelings of anger or bitterness at the unfairness of so much. Things that should not have happened. Words said. Words not said.

But then I have a choice. I can let those emotions be in charge or I can remember what I have earnestly committed my life to. Following Jesus.

Optimism and positive thinking will only carry you so far. Those things have to be anchored into the bedrock of eternity, not limited by human understanding.

Jesus was not just a prophet, teacher, or a good man. He was the Son of God, incarnate, who stepped into an earthly existence to show the world he meant it. Beyond the days we spend of working, playing, sleeping, eating, going, doing … accomplishing …  there is a day when we will step out of our earthly existence and into God’s eternity.

I follow Jesus because he is the way, the truth, and the life. No man can come to the Father except by Jesus, who died for sinful man that he would be reconciled to God.

He left us His word that would guide and direct us through the valleys, the darkness, the turmoils, and storms of life.

He also left us Himself.  Not only words, but His presence. Sometimes we feel it and sometimes we don’t. Yet, when we look back, we can see clearly His hand upon us.

If we want to.

We have a choice. God doesn’t coerce us to believe. He presents the truth to us (and because He wired us to respond, oftentimes we know it’s truth but still turn away) and we decide if we want Him or not.

Years ago, my pastor once said the time to have faith is not when you are facing something difficult. What he meant was it is a lifestyle of building that relationship with God. Just like any friend you have, it takes time to know someone. When something occurs in your life that throws you into a tailspin, it’s better to be prepared.

We can be prepared when we have lived daily having faith in God. We learn to trust Him.

That doesn’t mean we don’t feel all the emotions that goes with trials, tragedies, pain, and suffering. It means we are anchored to something stronger than ourselves.

Today marks 10 years of losing my oldest son, Christopher. If there was one word to describe him, it was this: sincere.

He was completely dedicated to God and his purpose and destiny. You either liked him or you didn’t I suppose. Because he was not afraid to stand up for truth and justice. He called it the way he saw it. After all, he was told he had the same “gift” as his mother.

He was protector and rescuer. He didn’t think of himself because he was fearless. Others meant more to him than he meant to himself.

He embodied love

Today, while walking up the hill on this bright, sunny day, much like the day we lost him 10 years ago, I thought about my personal dedication to prayer on that very day. Over the years, I was committed to prayer for him, my family, my home, and farm.

There was a specific prayer that I had heard years ago and had forgotten until today – that angels would be positioned on the north, the south, the east and west, declaring Proverbs 12 that says  no harm will come to the righteous.

In the months following, those kinds of prayers seemed like a waste of my time. A crisis of faith taunted me. Like John the Baptist, on the eve of his execution, sent for reassurance from Jesus: are you the one? Please tell me this is all real. Jesus sent back this:  ... tell John what you have seen and heard–the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cured, the deaf hear …

I thought, that’s it? How about smiting those who wish to kill me and setting me free? Surely this will show people you are the living God!

But God’s ways are not our ways.

And because of that, those angels I prayed for? The protection? I realized today, they were there. They still are. The devil, who seeks to kill, steal, and destroy, did not entirely wipe us all out. We lost one, but we have victory because of eternity and God’s promises waiting there. The rest of us are still living and trusting with quiet faith and are a testimony of God’s faithfulness.

God doesn’t always have everything in a neat tidy package to show the world He is real.

I am proud of you, Christopher. You were sincere in all that you understood at a young age. You wanted to please. Mostly, you wanted to please God. You embraced all you were taught and wanted to make a difference.  It’s hard sometimes. Because a mother wants to know where all her children are at all times. It changes over time but the instinct is always there. I know you are with God, but there are times I want to know where that exactly is.

So I wait.

I believe.

And  trust.


Christopher Moulton

Nov. 30, 1981 – Sept. 26, 2005


I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
No turning back, no turning back.

Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.

The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
No turning back, no turning back.

Though none go with me, still I will follow;
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.

scripture friday.

scripture friday.

The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they reveal knowledge.

They have no speech, they use no words;

no sound is heard from them.

Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,

their words to the ends of the world.

In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.

It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,

like a champion rejoicing to run his course.

It rises at one end of the heavens

and makes its circuit to the other;

nothing is deprived of its warmth.

The Bible


talk to God.

talk to God.

Recently, I wrote about the Lord’s prayer and accepting his will in our lives.

That doesn’t mean we don’t talk to God.

That doesn’t mean we don’t ask.

That doesn’t mean we don’t hope or believe for his blessings and goodness in our lives.

It just means we have balance.

Because in the end, God will have the final say. When we learn to accept, it’s because we know that someday he will wipe away every tear, as he promises.

If there was no unanswered prayers in the church, we would not be called to weep with those who weep.

Captain Kimo / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND
Captain Kimo / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND
there will be an answer.

there will be an answer.

I hadn’t felt this blue in quite some time.

I felt so unsettled.

Even a wave of torment came out of nowhere.

I had a couple of hours of driving ahead of me. The sky was clear and the air was cool.

I searched the radio to find a station, hoping to hear the same voice I had heard weeks ago giving a sermon. He was very calming and thoughtful with his words. But instead, the scan paused and I heard the familiar melody: there will be an answer, let it be.

Immediately I felt calm.

There will be an answer. Yes, I reminded myself. Let the tears come. But let truth have the final say.

This is for me.

This is for you, too.

Because God let’s us know he is not very far from us, even when it feels like it.

khalid almasoud / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA
khalid almasoud / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA
scripture friday.

scripture friday.

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

-The Bible

calm sea



… of the unanswered kind.

I was known as an intercessor. That meant I prayed for people and situations. A lot.

I was so intent on believing God for so many things that it was second nature to me. I’m not talking about name-it-and-claim-it, but things like: Christ is healer so pray for healing.  Jesus said we would do greater works so get out there and believe for greater works.

Today, I can count on 1 hand how many times I’ve prayed in the last 10 years since Christopher died and it’s been the Lord’s Prayer with an emphasis on Thy will be done.

This may bother some people. But when your child dies, things change.

I know prayer is important. The Bible says to pray without ceasing and the fervent prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Weren’t my prayers for my son fervent enough?

Weren’t my prayers for him the morning of the day we were told he died powerful and effective enough?

Maybe I wasn’t righteous enough?

Initially, those were my questions. But now I know that there is another side to the coin in scripture.

I don’t have the whole picture, but I do know that we should be prepared when we have given our whole lives to something noble – in Jesus’ name – only to see dismal results.

People who have answered prayer rejoice, “God heard my prayer!” And you know what? I rejoice with them.

But what happens when your prayer is not answered? Didn’t God hear your prayer?

They are the people who rejoice with empty hands because they have learned to trust God. They carefully measure their words when good comes their way. They wear Job’s words on their heart: Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him.

God has not disqualified, distanced, or disowned you because you are facing the pain or loss of unanswered prayer. One dies in an accident and another lives. One finds help just in time and another does not.

When you don’t have the answer, God does.



God created us with emotions.

Even God has emotions. Keep in mind, however, his emotions are not defined in human terms. Because we cannot fully comprehend him, we are prone to think of him humanly. For example, his anger is sourced in a divine response to evil.

In the article, God Without Mood Swings, Phillip R. Johnson states:

God is [not] literally subject to fits and temper tantrums. His wrath against sin is surely something more than just a bad mood. 

The Bible shows us some of God’s emotions:








God relates to human emotions. In turn, we relate to him.

Don’t we turn to people who understand us?

Emotions can be wonderful. They make us feel alive! But, we cannot be led by our emotions. We need something solid to anchor our lives to. The wind carries a sailboat but it has to be steered and anchored to its destination.

Truth is our anchor.

Just like we live with physical laws (e.g., gravity), truth is an unseen law that has a way of settling things. The truth is often difficult (thus, “the truth hurts”), but if we embrace it for what it is, despite how we feel, our emotions will line up.

If you have found yourself in a muddled mess of emotions, truth will help settle you. The truth can be that there are no immediate solutions or answers to your situation and you have to endure it.

If you know God has emotions, you know he understands your emotions.

And because he understands your emotions, he will give you comfort, strength, and guidance.

 rexquisite / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND


Life can be hard.

And one of the hardest things is to accept that life is hard.

We know it, but we think it happens to other people.

In one sense, it is good that we don’t dwell on what could happen. Do you see God wired us that way? I realize some of us do worry or are fearful. But that isn’t what God wants for us.

Yes, there are horrendous tragedies which some of us will face. We go through the emotions of pain as we respond to them.

But eventually, we have to accept. Not just mentally, but emotionally. Resting in acceptance comes from trusting that your pain…your loss…is in bigger hands.

There are some things we can change. There are some things we cannot.

I used to cringe at the part of the “Serenity Prayer” that said accept the things you cannot change.

What? I am a go-getter. Couple that with being in a very pro-active church environment that was out to change the world, accepting was not in my vocabulary.

It is now.

It takes time when you face something that inexplicable and devastating and you cannot change it.

This is not a reproach in diminishing God’s ability to heal, comfort, or strengthen us. It also doesn’t mean miracles aren’t real.

It means things will happen that we don’t understand.

The people around you may not have felt the depth of the pain quite like you. The proportion of the time to accept and the pain you are facing has to be equal. It has to take as long as the pain is deep.

And it is okay.

If others do not understand, that is okay, too.

Because you will have a new found confidence in being content with who you are that is not based on what other people think.

The strength and confidence you gain will be equal to the depth of pain you are experiencing. God doesn’t leave us with nothing.

scripture friday.

scripture friday.

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his faithful servants.

– The Bible

Ben Sturner @leverageagency
Ben Sturner @leverageagency

A rainbow appearing to originate from the World Trade Center 

Eve of September 11, 2015

God is with us.