“But then I remember this means he is not so far away, and we’re not so far from him, and it makes me smile”.
Mary Katharine Hamm lost her husband in 2015. She was pregnant with her second child.
She recently wrote this article I know will resonate with anyone who has lost a loved one.
After reading her story it occurred to me, no 2 personal experiences I have read about grieving are the same.
We who are grieving over a severe loss, walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, enveloped by the coldest, darkest place we’ve ever known. And yet, it seems each of us finds glimmers of light along the way. The smallest speck of light is the brightest because it is the darkest there, illuminating what we would not have seen otherwise.
Because when people say prayer changes things … you wonder why it didn’t change something for you.
It’s something we have to talk about. Because for every person who is rejoicing over answered prayer, there is someone who feels abandoned by God – particularly when it comes to losing someone you love.
This doesn’t mean we don’t pray.
It means we accept.
God is over all things. He doesn’t love you less because your loved one died.
He does love you enough to give you the comfort he promises us.
Some memories are unwelcome, dark shadows that creep in without invitation. They make reliving the pain torturous.
If you are a victim of painful memories, there is hope. It is not a pat answer or a quick fix by any means. But you must know that God, the Creator of mankind, provides comfort and peace. The memory will not have access whenever it pleases when you learn that God will help you through your pain.
If you are a parent, you know how difficult it is when your child is sick. A sudden fever in the middle of the night or a broken arm from a fall – we want to take the pain away. We do all we can to comfort and help our child get well.
God is a parent, too. He is the Heavenly Father. He is not distant from you. The Bible tells us God knows how many hairs are on your head. That tells me He is fully aware of you in a very personal way. When you are in pain, He also wants to bring comfort and help you get well.
A child learns to trust his parent’s care. God wants us to trust His care.
How does God comfort? First of all, it’s incredible to me what people can endure. Some call it the resilience of the human spirit. It’s there because God put it there. Secondly, if we want God’s involvement, we will find many comforting promises that will help us through our pain.
God has made us to work well within His design. That said, knowing those comforting promises help us with pain. It works. Just like a child trusts that an earthly parent will bring them a warm blanket, a glass of juice, a dosage of medicine, we can trust that our Heavenly Father promises never to leave us or forget us.
It doesn’t always feel like that. I know. But only when we see beyond ourselves and reach for something bigger than our pain, will we begin feeling differently.
When no one else understands, God does. When no one else cares, God does.