the more I prayed.

the more I prayed.

I used to think the more I prayed the better things would turn out.

That is pretty much  based on the scripture knock and it shall be opened to you.

Add this to the American culture conducive to performance and productivity, along with books written on someone’s experience of answered prayer, well… there you have it.

It wasn’t only the death of my son that got me wondering, but other prayer worthy situations which began balancing earnest prayer with just as much earnest acceptance.

Some of us have neglected the Lord’s prayer because of its common place of rote recitation. Words we might become desensitized to.

But the word of God stands forever. Each time it is spoken it has the power to refresh and regenerate.

Human nature is attracted to new ways of doing things. Bigger and better. Faster and sleeker. Out with the old and in with the new.

Those things excite our emotions – often fleeting and not solid enough to anchor.

When I have been faced with great difficulty and sorrow, I have been drawn to writers from decades ago. Elisabeth Elliot, Amy Carmichael, C.S. Lewis, Oswald Chambers, and others. I feasted on these books alone in my room when Chris died.

Our world has progressed in many wonderful ways. Yet, we need wisdom in what is good and what is not. And wisdom comes from God. 

Nothing is new under the sun. When pain comes to us, we need to hear from people who knew pain.

New isn’t always better.



Photo credit: Art4TheGlryOfGod via / CC BY-ND





… of the unanswered kind.

I was known as an intercessor. That meant I prayed for people and situations. A lot.

I was so intent on believing God for so many things that it was second nature to me. I’m not talking about name-it-and-claim-it, but things like: Christ is healer so pray for healing.  Jesus said we would do greater works so get out there and believe for greater works.

Today, I can count on 1 hand how many times I’ve prayed in the last 10 years since Christopher died and it’s been the Lord’s Prayer with an emphasis on Thy will be done.

This may bother some people. But when your child dies, things change.

I know prayer is important. The Bible says to pray without ceasing and the fervent prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Weren’t my prayers for my son fervent enough?

Weren’t my prayers for him the morning of the day we were told he died powerful and effective enough?

Maybe I wasn’t righteous enough?

Initially, those were my questions. But now I know that there is another side to the coin in scripture.

I don’t have the whole picture, but I do know that we should be prepared when we have given our whole lives to something noble – in Jesus’ name – only to see dismal results.

People who have answered prayer rejoice, “God heard my prayer!” And you know what? I rejoice with them.

But what happens when your prayer is not answered? Didn’t God hear your prayer?

They are the people who rejoice with empty hands because they have learned to trust God. They carefully measure their words when good comes their way. They wear Job’s words on their heart: Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him.

God has not disqualified, distanced, or disowned you because you are facing the pain or loss of unanswered prayer. One dies in an accident and another lives. One finds help just in time and another does not.

When you don’t have the answer, God does.