Each year, the memory fades like the colors of summer’s end. Not of him, but the day I felt the suffocation upon learning of my son’s death.

Books, support groups, and counselors may tell you to celebrate your lost loved one in some special way. Everybody has a well meaning tip.

Yet, many of us manage a smile, nod our heads in gratitude, and feel our hearts being squeezed as the lump comes into our throats. We walk away feeling alone and empty, asking ourselves why we allow ourselves to be in these situations.

When one realizes that only God knows the depth of your sorrow and pain, a silent relationship is built between you and the Creator of the Universe, who holds all things in his hands. And you know, you just know, that your loved one is safe in God’s arms.

Some who do not believe in God think this is some kind of fairy tale thinking. It’s not. Because if it were not for God, the pain would be too much and we would want to die.

I have no fancy tips to celebrate your loved one. In fact, silence from a friend is the best. Just sit with me.

Animals will go in hiding when they are in pain. People do, too. Sometimes, the noise is just too much.

Triggers will come –  a scent, a sound, or the way the sun is shining on a particular day. Feel the momentary pain and it will subside. If you smile, then smile. If you cry, then cry.

But then, move on and enjoy with purpose the life you have – and the hope of being reunited with your loved one.