Trauma permanently changes us.
This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as “getting over it.” The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no “back to the old me.” You are different now, full stop.
This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life — warts, wisdom, and all — with courage.
-Catherine Woodiwiss
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Photo credit: Phototropy / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND
when it hurts 
Reblogged this on when it hurts.
It’s true and it’s a double edged sword. We are alone and miss our loved one, but I’ve never lived the experience of living alone before. At times the loneliness envelopes me and at others, it opens up new adventures. I’m sad for the things we can no longer enjoy together, but think of the many things we enjoyed together before. So many thought and memories swirl around in my quiet moments. Always countermanding the bad with the good. Helps.