“God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn’t. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down.”
C. S. Lewis; A Grief Observed
Sometimes it feels like God is playing some kind of sick game with us.
Or we think he is testing us.
Or punishing us.
All of the above are normal feelings.
But the Bible says God’s ways are not like ours; his thoughts are not like ours.
In other words, God does not think the way we do but He has given us the capacity to trust Him.
God teaches us about ourselves and how much we need Him, but it’s more than that. He wants us to be comforted and that can only happen when we trust him.
Even in death, which seems like the absolute end, He is there.
Go ahead. Ask God if He is real.
He will show you.