Tag: life

anticipation.

anticipation.

by Kathleen Moulton ♥ 2 Comments

I leaned back in the wicker rocking chair – a favorite – the one with the brown and aqua quilt.

Linger. I want to linger here for as long as possible. The warm, scattered sunshine is soothing. Can I stay?

My eyes teared slightly at the leafless branches contrasting against royal blue  – recalling a childhood memory of loving the sky.

The smells of autumn were unmistakable. The clean smell of Macintosh apples in a nearby bushel, the carpet of golden maple leaves soaking in the warm sun, and the damp earth preparing a resting place for frost-bitten hostas, salvia, and phlox.

And then one leaf…and another…gracefully floated to the ground to take its place among the others.

Seasons end, but another is waiting. Do we hang on to the old? Or do we anticipate the new?

Even in the midst of the cold and bitter winter, there is life. The wind plays with the snow, creating ripples of purple shadowed dunes while grand, lacy snowflakes rock gently to the earth – breathing life into our weariness.

The pain will end. But in its cold and bitterness, there is still life. Can you find it?

triggers.

triggers.

by Kathleen Moulton

Each year, the memory fades like the colors of summer’s end. Not of him, but the day I felt the suffocation upon learning of my son’s death.

Books, support groups, and counselors may tell you to celebrate your lost loved one in some special way. Everybody has a well meaning tip.

Yet, many of us manage a smile, nod our heads in gratitude, and feel our hearts being squeezed as the lump comes into our throats. We walk away feeling alone and empty, asking ourselves why we allow ourselves to be in these situations.

When one realizes that only God knows the depth of your sorrow and pain, a silent relationship is built between you and the Creator of the Universe, who holds all things in his hands. And you know, you just know, that your loved one is safe in God’s arms.

Some who do not believe in God think this is some kind of fairy tale thinking. It’s not. Because if it were not for God, the pain would be too much and we would want to die.

I have no fancy tips to celebrate your loved one. In fact, silence from a friend is the best. Just sit with me.

Animals will go in hiding when they are in pain. People do, too. Sometimes, the noise is just too much.

Triggers will come –  a scent, a sound, or the way the sun is shining on a particular day. Feel the momentary pain and it will subside. If you smile, then smile. If you cry, then cry.

But then, move on and enjoy with purpose the life you have – and the hope of being reunited with your loved one.