11 years.

 

chris-peru

Christopher R. Moulton 

Leader, loyal, committed, compassionate, sincere.

~~~

There is a place deep in God’s heart that understands.

When others speak what they know not of, God speaks louder and comforts my broken heart.

 

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7 thoughts on “11 years.

  1. Hi, Kathleen.

    You recently posted an excellent and very thoughtful response to my most recent blog. I just accidentally deleted it!!! I meant to respond! That’s what I get for trying to write at 3 a.m. instead of sleeping!! I’m so sorry. Would you mind reposting it? I thought what you said was very helpful and that it will also help others who read it. I’ve copied and pasted what you wrote below.

    Thank you…and sorry!!

    Becky

    Rebecca Carney – https://onewomansperspective02.wordpress.com/2016/10/02/i-miss-my-life-3/

    Your text (copied from email notifications):

    Becky, your words are my words. I have not experienced the many moves or your familiar possessions in storage, but I still feel the loneliness and disconnect you do.

    I am reading a book by Timothy Keller, “Walking With God Through Pain and Suffering”. I’m only reading it because I feel I can trust him. He begins by what I concluded some years ago – our Western world thinking is so different from other cultures when it comes to loss, pain, and suffering.

    This doesn’t take away our sorrow, but it does shed some light. Many of us are already hurting with our child’s death and what follows makes it worse. People, friends distancing themselves, feeling the chill in our churches, and more.

    Keller also talks about how people experienced death throughout the centuries and seemed to be able to deal with it differently than we do today. Understood. We live in a very different world, but nevertheless, has that world created an inability to endure? Impatience? We want answers and we want them now?

    I, too, prayed and had the typical “God has a purpose” mindset for my son and had given my whole life to my faith. I never let go of God after Chris died, but I sure let go of many – what I call – over emphasized biblical truths which created an imbalance.

    My faith made me feel invincible to anything.

    When Chris died, God revealed himself to me in a very different way. His sustaining me made me a silent witness, being able to let my light shine after tragedy. Not because I had to conjur it up, but because the joy of the Lord is always there. Not necessarily happy, but joy.

    That’s not to say I am the same. I am different. I miss my old life, no doubt. It’s almost like I don’t know who I am now.

    But here I am, not teaching women at church or praying at prayer meetings… but am keenly aware of people the people outside of the church… those who go unnoticed. Somehow, through this intense journey, I have more joy and find myself reaching out in small, friendly ways to people at the cash register, etc. Not preaching to them, not trying to get them to church.. but just letting my light shine (love) and letting them feel Christ in me.

    Last week I had a fortune cookie and it read: “What is to give light must endure the burning”.

    As a Christian, I understand what that means. I have accepted it. Because if I don’t, it will cause me to lose my footing and I will be worse off than I am now.

    So, we hang on. Or should I say, God hangs on to us.

    Sent from Outlook

    ________________________________

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