Grief doesn’t only come from death. It comes from all kinds of loss that brings deep pain. Divorce, illness, abuse, failure … all are reasons we grieve. People need time to grieve and the best thing we can do is give them all the time they need.

After the death of my son, I learned that grief was not a straight shot but like a spiral staircase. In other words, each day is not better and better until you reach the goal of “new normal”. It is more like some good days, a bad day or two, more good days, and bad again. It’s like going up a staircase and then going back a few steps. This is the healthy way to grieve. If you rush it too much, it seems as if sadness gets buried and comes out later in unsuspecting ways.

Don’t be afraid to grieve. It is a natural process that takes time. Our culture is so productive and goal oriented, we expect too much from ourselves and others. Take the time to go through the process of grief. You will be better off in the end than if you rushed yourself along.

The sun will shine again. I promise!