Strength is a choice.
How we view life makes a difference. What is your outlook?
Good things happen. Bad things happen.
When we are truly thankful for the good, it helps us manage the bad.
There really is something to counting your blessings.
Try it today and feel the difference!
~~~
There are no quick fixes for grief. It’s a process that continues the rest of your life. You are not the same person. In some ways you are better. In some ways you are not.
If it weren’t for God, I would not have made it. I didn’t hold onto him as much as he held onto me. When no one understands, God does. When no one is there, God is.
How can I explain the calmness that came upon me in the middle of many nights?
How can I explain joy in the midst of sorrow?
How can I explain being content with unanswered questions?
I can’t. I can only say it exists. I felt it.
The very same God who did not intervene when my son died, is the same God who protected me from grief overtaking me. Thing is, many people turn away from God. I did not.
That’s because I made a choice to trust God, believing he knows all the answers to my questions. I won’t know “why” today. But someday, I will. Because he promises that there will be a day when he wipes away every tear and there will be no more sorrow or death.
For me, that is an answer. He knows life will be painful. For now.
And I choose to keep that day in my thoughts.
He has removed our sins as far away from us as the east is from the west.
Psalm 103:12
The American culture is particularly focused on productivity, quick fixes, and formulas.
None of the above applies to someone who is grieving the loss of a child.
Even many church cultures are influenced by the American culture. The Bible is full of pro-active mandates and it fits nicely with the culture’s mantras.
As Christians, we have to reign ourselves in. I know I practice this in my own life. What I do, think, and say must be God’s heart.
Instead, I often see this scenario: people who are “victims” are encouraged to rise above it, press on, and fight the good fight. It’s like telling someone who just got a leg mangled in a car accident to walk.
Grieving people have mangled hearts.
And because we are an impatient culture, there are few who are willing to be patient with grief. What I mean by that is not being there 24/7 for someone who is grieving, but to keep in mind God’s heart: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit … in humility value others above yourselves … (Philippians 2:3)
This means the person who is grieving is not going to be who he or she was before the grief. Just like the person with the mangled leg will have scars or a limp for the rest of his life. If your theology is only to “press on” with faith, you will have expectations for people which are unrealistic.
Personally, I’ve been gossiped about and expected to rise above my loss. I know first hand the push of productivity, quick fixes, and formulas. Forgiveness is not a problem. But being exposed to it is.
Further reading here.
If you are grieving and have felt the angst of an environment of producing, quick fixes, and formulas being applied to you, next Monday’s post is for you. As I’ve listened to the stories of Christians who are grieving, I’ve found many broken-hearts; disillusioned with their experience. My hope is to help rescue you from becoming bitter or turning away from God altogether.
That’s what the Bible says. And it’s true. There is nothing good about death.
The distress it brings is heart-wrenching sorrow.
We have to live for something bigger than ourselves. What good is it if you live life, only to find out there is nothing at the end?
God wired us to believe. We have the choice whether we will or not. And beyond believing, is living with a view of eternity. It makes all the difference because we will always have hope. If we think there isn’t anything at the end, how miserable we will be.
What are you living for?
What is your hope at the end of your life?
Are you ready to meet God?
~~~
Photo credit: Davi Ozolin / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA
Every winter in Upstate NY, we experience the “January Thaw”. I’m sure it’s not exclusive to where I live, but nevertheless, we look forward to it. The temperature rises to the mid to high 40’s and the snow and ice melts. It’s as if winter pauses briefly for a week before the next blast of cold and snow.
If there is a break in winter’s rhythm, there is a break for you, too.
Sometimes, we can be so overwhelmed with our present circumstances that we may not be aware of the joy that is often mingled with our sorrow.
Have you ever been crying and then found yourself laughing at something? Those are moments that come upon us when we weren’t expecting it.
We aren’t always expecting a reprieve – relief that lasts longer than a moment. It’s a break from the constant pressure of whatever burdens you.
I think we should look for it. Just like the January Thaw.
God isn’t going to forget you.
~~~
Photo credit: Βethan / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND
You can’t fix grief.
A paper cut will heal quickly.
A gun shot wound requires more time.
Sometimes the bullet cannot be removed.
People live with bullets inside of them.
People live with broken hearts.
This isn’t hopelessness.
It is acceptance of what is.
Once accepted, you carry grief with strength…
beautiful strength.
~~~
Photo Courtesy:http://www.flickr.com/photos/mait/5184718154/
Like a wave, the crest of heightened emotion will fall to find a path as it crashes upon the shore of a new day … a new week … a new year.
Life will demand and routine will resume.
The fathers and mothers of the Sandy Hook school shootings will feel helpless. They will tread water as raw grief pierces deeper and the numbness wears off.
Everyone leaves and the temporary buoyancy of strength leaves, too.
You cannot leave them. Not yet.
There is a gaping wound in their heart. And life is pulsating out of it with every breath.
Place your hand of quiet presence upon their heart until it beats on its own.
The silence is deafening. Weeping openly was allowed.
Life must go on we tell them.
But life is on hold for them.
Let them. Please let them.
There are no words to comfort. All they want is their child back.
Time. They need lots of time.
Time to learn how to live again.
Some will not want to live again.
But they will.
~~~~
Photo Courtesy:
MrClean1982 / Foter / CC BY-NC
when it hurts 