Tag Archive | grief

trusting God with grief.

There are no quick fixes for grief. It’s a process that continues the rest of your life.  You are not the same person. In some ways you are better. In some ways you are not.

If it weren’t for God, I would not have made it. I didn’t hold onto him as much as he held onto me. When no one understands, God does. When no one is there, God is.

How can I explain the calmness that came upon me in the middle of many nights?

How can I explain joy in the midst of sorrow?

How can I explain being content with unanswered questions?

I can’t. I can only say it exists. I felt it.

The very same God who did not intervene when my son died, is the same God who protected me from grief overtaking me. Thing is, many people turn away from God. I did not.

That’s because I made a choice to trust God, believing he knows all the answers to my questions. I won’t know “why” today. But someday, I will. Because he promises that there will be a day when he wipes away every tear and there will be no more sorrow or death.

For me, that is an answer. He knows life will be painful. For now.

And I choose to keep that day in my thoughts.

 

 

beautiful strength.

Jan11

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You can’t fix grief.

A paper cut will heal quickly.

A gun shot wound requires more time.

Sometimes the bullet cannot be removed.

People live with bullets inside of them.

People live with broken hearts.

This isn’t hopelessness.

It is acceptance of what is.

Once accepted,  you carry grief with  strength…

beautiful strength.

~~~

Photo Courtesy:http://www.flickr.com/photos/mait/5184718154/

losing a child.

Dec18

Like a wave, the crest of heightened emotion will fall to find a path as it crashes upon the shore of a new day … a new week … a new year.

Life will demand and routine will resume.

The fathers and mothers of the Sandy Hook school shootings will feel helpless. They will tread water as raw grief pierces deeper and the numbness wears off.

Everyone leaves and the temporary buoyancy of strength leaves, too.

You cannot leave them. Not yet.

There is a gaping wound in their heart. And life is pulsating out of it with every breath.

Place your hand of quiet presence upon their heart until it beats on its own.

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The silence is deafening. Weeping openly was allowed.

Life must go on we tell them.

But life is on hold for them.

Let them. Please let them.

There are no words to comfort. All they want is their child back.

Time. They need lots of time.

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Time to learn how to live again.

Some will not want to live again.

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But they will.

~~~~

Photo Courtesy:

MrClean1982 / Foter / CC BY-NC

macropoulos / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

Vicki’s Nature / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

how?

Jun19

 

With all our technological, medical, and scientific advancements, the common and routine can frustrate us.

That’s because we are limited. And the first step of grieving is acknowledging and admitting death is inevitable. The truth sets us free. That means the part of us which is weighed down with confusion, discouragement, frustration and disappointment breaks free with acceptance.

We are made of the same stuff as our predecessors who lost loved ones to disease, accidents, and war.

We cannot stop it.

Generations before us lived with death. Does this make our personal grieving easier? No. But it helps us to know we are made of the same stuff as our ancestors. We’re human.

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We cannot control everything that happens to us the way we choose our ring tones or favorite search engine.

To grieve is to accept.

But to accept is to trust.

Trust in what? Or whom?

There is always someone who writes the book.

In the Beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth.

Genesis 1:1

~~~

Photo Credit: Etolane / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND,

revisiting grief.

Holidays, particularly during Christmas, are difficult times for people who are grieving the loss of a loved one.

For the next two weeks, I am going to re-post previous entries I’ve written on grief.

Perhaps grief is the most misunderstood emotion. The person grieving a deep loss, whether through death, divorce, or personal disappointments or failure, needs to be patient with themselves. But mostly, the people around them need to be patient.

If you know someone who needs to understand your grieving, consider sharing with them the next two weeks.

Jun17

How do I deal with grief?

We live in a world of instant gratification.

Even the poorest among us has access to a fast food lunch, a cell phone, and/or cable television.

The problem is not all things in life can be instantly gratified. Grief is one of those things.

We want to push it away for another day. We’ve got things to do and places to go. But grief interrupts our rhythm.

The world has advanced in leaps and bounds, but our soul hasn’t. We may adjust and accommodate  and even welcome the intrusions of someone’s random thoughts posted on a social website. Yet, our soul is the bedrock of who we are and it is limited. Without recognizing those limitations we expect more than we were made to handle.

canoe

There has to be times of calmness. We were not made to be constantly alert.

Grieving the loss of someone cannot be filed with the rest of your daily activities. It won’t allow it. Grief will demand your attention and the more you try to keep at bay the more it will intrude. Ignoring it is like ignoring a bullet wound.

You can’t.

Next post: How?

~~~

Photo Credit: Roozbeh Rokni / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

 

grieving.

How do I deal with grief?

We live in a world of instant gratification.

Even the poorest among us has access to a fast food lunch, a cell phone, and/or cable television.

The problem is not all things in life can be instantly gratified. Grief is one of those things.

We want to push it away for another day. We’ve got things to do and places to go. But grief interrupts our rhythm.

The world has advanced in leaps and bounds, but our soul hasn’t. We may adjust and accommodate  and even welcome the intrusions of someone’s random thoughts posted on a social website. Yet, our soul is the bedrock of who we are and it is limited. Without recognizing those limitations we expect more than we were made to handle.

canoe

There has to be times of calmness. We were not made to be constantly alert.

Grieving the loss of someone cannot be filed with the rest of your daily activities. It won’t allow it. Grief will demand your attention and the more you try to keep at bay the more it will intrude. Ignoring it is like ignoring a bullet wound.

You can’t.

Next post: How?

~~~

Photo Credit: Roozbeh Rokni / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

grief.

Grief is work.

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I had never thought about it like that, until I was hit with it.

Grief plunges you into an abyss. The last thing you want to do is work yourself out of that bottomless pit.

But grief is not that kind of work – trying to “get better” or to feel normal.

The work is letting yourself be taken down an unfamiliar path, and going with it when you don’t want to.

You will not feel your old self because the person you lost was part of your old self.

Put your shovel down and rest.

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